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Writer's picture은사시 Arisu Chris

How to restore your confidence

Sometimes, you feel like losing confidence. You can see yourself wandering around. Difficult times can make you even more suspicious of yourself. Have you ever lost your confidence and felt embarrassed? Here’s how to restore your confidence.

“Why do I not know this?” “Why I cannot do that?” “I am not good enough to do.”

Sounds familiar?

Haven’t you started doing things that always make you feel that you’re lacking something?

But have you ever thought that you are laying bricks? Don’t you think that you are stepping into the scent of your dream, slowly but step by step?

Don’t worry too much. You’re not the only one. Everyone says they feel this way.

It’s not your fault that you lack confidence. Many factors contribute to a loss of confidence.


Start your day with positive thinking

So how can we restore confidence?

First of all, before we look at this method, shall we start by saying a kind word to ourselves?

“Yeah, I’ve lived well enough”

This word means that you believe in your potential and love yourself.

Now let’s get started.

Identify the root cause

To solve any problem, you need to know the root cause. Restoring confidence also is the same step. You need to understand why you feel small and like losing confidence. Therefore, you can find the process of the solution, and you will feel stronger.

Take time to reflect on your surroundings, your thoughts, actions, and relationships.

There are many root causes of losing confidence. Let’s see some examples here.

  1. Comparing yourself to others – Are you comparing yourself to other people’s posts or stories on social media?

  2. Perfectionism or high expectations of yourself – Are you setting unrealistic expectations of yourself? Do you feel like you have to be “perfect” or “know everything”?

  3. Age or physical inferiority – Do you think you are too old? Age No matter your age, every age in life brings new experiences. Learning something new is a process of getting to know who we are.

  4. Relationships – Are the people around you, your boss or friends, negatively affecting you or ignoring you?

You should start by asking yourself these questions and figuring out what is bothering you.

Know yourself

It’s a short and simple question, but it’s also the most difficult to answer.

However, it is also homework in our lives that we should ask about at some point. It is very simple to create your own list. So take out a piece of paper. Record the years you have lived.

Starting at any age, list events or memories that you have lived through every 5 or 10 years.

According to Verywellmind, humans are more likely to remember and reflect on negative aspects of life, including past traumas, adverse experiences, and perceived failures.

Remember traumatic experiences better than positive ones. Remember insults better than compliments. They react more strongly to negative stimuli. Think of the negative more often than the positive. They react more strongly to negative events than to equally positive events. Source: Verywellmind

Draw your life event

This exercise is to write down how you have lived in your current situation. Even small things are good. Write it down without any criticism.

For example, when did you take your first steps? When did you first start watching? When did you first learn computers? When was your first overseas trip? When did you start working at your first shop? You can make many lists, etc.

In this process, when you first start something, you think about what you were capable of at the time you didn’t know anything about. But what about now? At least you know something, don’t you know how to do it?

It’s how we start to realize just how capable we are when we objectively review everything we’ve done (and succeeded) that we didn’t know how to do at first.

Reveal yourself to the words: Here are some practical tips.

It is to take the list made in this way to the next level. Reveal yourself to the world. When something happens in your daily life or a thought comes to mind, please post it on social media.

It doesn’t take much time like blogs or YouTube, so it’s easy to follow. Write a little social media post or share with others two or three traits that come to mind when they think of you.

Just post a picture and your thoughts. Don’t be shy about it and don’t be afraid of what they say. There are still many people who give courage with a good influence.

Looking at the mirror and posing

What is your pose when you lose confidence and feel embarrassed? Most of them sag up to the shoulders, and the eyes are downwards.

Amy Cuddy, TED Talk speaker and author of the best-selling book Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges, talks about the importance of having your mark as a way to boost your confidence. (Ted Talk “Your body language may shape who you are | Amy Cuddy”)


Ted Talk “Your body language may shape who you are | Amy Cuddy”

The so-called “Wonder Woman Pose”: Simply put, stand up straight, place one hand on your waist, tilt your chin upwards, inhale and exhale. Practice every day.

A confident pose will help boost your confidence.

Here are some bonus tips. Practice your confident pose for two minutes each day.

As Amy Cuddy said at Ted Talk:

“Fake it till it becomes”

You may feel awkward at first and feel like you are a fake. But at some point, you will become such a dignified figure.

Gain your control power

Start by identifying things that affect your feelings negatively. And practice saying no to them.

Focus on what you are good at.

Say “no” to focus on the things you think you can’t do or think you can no longer do as you used to.

Put your energy into everything you know, everything you’ve experienced, the wisdom you’ve gained, and the skills you’ve acquired.

Stop the negative inner voice

Every moment your inner voice criticizes you, saying, “No. But I can do it well, because… “, instead. Practice saying “no” at least once a day.

It may be due to the voice of your own judgmental doubts, or it may be due to external factors that have caused you to lose confidence. Along with these other suggestions, this is a very powerful step to regaining your confidence.

My final Thought of restoring confidence

It is normal that lose confidence from time to time. I am too, experiencing low self-confidence from time to time.

It is your choice. You want to restore your coincidence. You always have power. Remember who you are. Take a pose and say “no” to anything that drags you down.

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